Who we are
The three of us (Karen, Robyn and Thalia) started Befriending Death as an informal, community group based in the Wellington Region of New Zealand.
We spend time chatting to people and unearthing experiences about the last few years of life.
We purposely focus not just on the last few months or weeks of life - but the years before we die. These are the years when most of us slowly get frailer and have to deal with lots of things around illness, care-giving, relationships, purpose, meaning, and the complexities of life and death.
We find small, simple ways to share what we learn from asking lots of curious questions and listening to people’s stories. We hope that this will support all of us to :
think and talk together more about how we are coping with the really big changes that have happened in the way we age and die these days.
look out for and feel into the spaces that are quiet, hard or missing in our conversations about illness, aging and dying.
grapple with what is uncomfortable and uncertain around aging, illness and dying - rather than pushing away or shutting down the hard stuff.
find small ways to befriend death so that we can be better at helping each other face the complexities, possibilities, hopes, and challenges that being mortal brings .
Friendship and connection is the foundation of our group and is at the heart of everything we do.
Take what is helpful and leave what is not
We are not experts in any of this.
Everything that you will find here is just an offering.
If some of it is helpful - that’s great. And if some of it annoys you deeply - then maybe that’s useful too? It might help you to get clearer on what you don’t want or need!
Find what makes sense for your situation, your beliefs, your culture, your values. Leave behind what feels ignorant, wrong and unhelpful for you.
We hope that you will get curious, be a bit brave, and maybe try some small new ways of doing things about dying, illness and aging in your own family or community.
We hope that this will help you to think not just about what you want as an individual, but also about what WE might want and need: how WE can get better at our collective systems of care and support in our families, communities and countries.
Just like us, you don’t have to be an expert to start doing small things with the people who matter to you.
