When we deny death - or run away from our feelings about dying - we are most likely adding to suffering and loneliness. We don’t take time to imagine better systems of care and support that would work better for all of us. We don’t see the costs of our silence and fear. When we can look at illness, aging and dying - and slow down enough to just ‘be with it’ for a while- we can start to imagine ways for us, our families and our communities to find more comfort, creativity and connection in our last few years of life.
Based on the work of Dr. Judy Stevens-Long
Some things to get more curious about?
As we have been talking with people, and digging around to find out more about what is important in our last few years of life, we have noticed that we keep ‘bumping into’ a few common themes.
These are quieter spaces and sometimes uncomfortable spaces. We think that they might be particularly useful or interesting for all of us to get more curious about in our own explorations around aging, illness and dying.
See what you think. If you are interested in exploring these ideas further, you may find our action guides helpful.
You don’t have to think about all of this at once! There are lots of ways to connect gently and slowly and find your own way in.
What does it look like to think and talk about the relational and emotional parts of illness, aging and dying- not just all the paper work?
The long, slow, resource intensive way most of us will die
The way we die has change so much and so quickly. Are we prepared for this reality?
So much seems to be about individual plans and what ‘I’ want. Could things be better if we do more of this together?
We often stay quiet to be kind and gentle to those around us. But could our silence be causing real suffering?
Waiting until ‘the time is right’
What would happen if we talked more and planned more right now (and regularly throughout our lives) rather than waiting for the ‘right’ time?
Finding meaning in aging and dying
Are there different ways to think about aging and dying where these are not just sad and difficult things that are ‘wrong’- but are opportunities for meaning and purpose?
Joy, lightness, and creativity
Could it be valuable to consciously look for times to let go, laugh, dance, and be joyful even when we are facing illness, aging and dying?
“Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time. It tell us to say right now that we love each other”.
Leo Buscaglia